The Art of Letting Go
October 31, 2024
Howdy everyone,
Happy Halloween! I hope each of you are celebrating accordingly. Dressing up in costumes, summoning spirits, eating as much candy as possible, dancing around a fire in the woods, carving Jack o’ lanterns (fun fact: jack o lanterns were originally turnips), raising the dead, spending time with friends, etc. You know the usual Halloween activities. It is simply the most wonderful time of the year. As promised, here is part 2 to October!
Life is a funny thing. It changes and moves with the wind; it can bring loss or happiness in the blink of an eye and take them just as quickly. As I have grown older, the realization that nothing is permanent has been a concept that has always been difficult for me to understand. As a person who feels the need to have everything planned intensively for months to years in advance, the fact that change is a constant has always caused chaos to my psyche. What do you mean I can’t fully plan the next five years of my life?? What do you mean things may be different?? It just has never sat well with me. However, although the world is always evolving and that means life is always evolving, somehow, I have been okay with accepting change and adjusting my “plans” accordingly for the past year or so.
The worst part of change that I have come to realize is the letting go part. Letting go of people, places, memories, feelings, etc. This action of change seems to hurt more than it should in my opinion. I recently had an old friend pass away. This has affected me more than I would like to admit. And yes, I realize that pain is valid, and my feelings are valid blah blah blah… (Thanks psychology school) but for some reason a creeping feeling of guilt came along with the news of their passing. The guilt that we grew apart and the what if is there. I am working through it, but it is a thought that has passed through my mind. The knowledge that their life is over and mine is continuing is a difficult thing to process for me. They were a beautifully chaotic human, and I will always remember fondly the time that our existence was together. I will also try to live in a way that would make them happy. I am relieved to know that their suffering is over, but I wish that it could have gone a different way for them. Along with that, a close friend of mine is moving away to a different state, and this is also a difficult thing for me to come to terms with. I am happy for them, and I wish them nothing but the best but a selfish part of me also wishes that they would stay and remain in this place. They have become an important fixture in my life, and I will dearly miss them. They are one of the best souls I have come to know, and they will always be important to me. I know they will do amazing things in this world, and I am incredibly grateful for being able to call them a friend even if it was for a short amount of time.
Although change is one of the only facets in this life that we can truly rely on, it does not mean that it makes any easier. I for one have always struggled with the idea that everything can change in the blink of an eye. Knowing that I could wake up tomorrow and my life could be vastly different than it was the day before has always caused a knot of fear and anxiety within my stomach. And as much as I have tried to remedy myself of this, it never seems to truly go away. However, change is natural. Letting go is natural, might not make it easy, but it is normal. As an example, right now, autumn is in full swing in Eastern Tennessee. It is truly beautiful to see the leaves changing colors and the natural confetti that is on the ground everywhere I look. But this is the best way for me to accept change and letting go. The trees do not stress over losing leaves. They do not worry about what may come tomorrow and what might happen to them. They simply let go when the time is right. This remarkable stage of nature not only holds a myriad of beauty that many people from all over come to witness, but it is also a testament to the way of life. Things change. What we held onto yesterday may not be there today, and that is okay. It is okay for things within our life to change. Yes, it may be shocking or difficult to come to terms with, but what is worrying about it going to do? Unfortunately, no amount of anxiety is going to prevent something from happening if it is time. And just like the trees, it is only a season. Their leaves will come back, and they will once again be full, lush, and the leaves that they dropped in autumn will not be a thought to them. We will once again be whole and happy, and the pain of loss and change will subside. This is how the world works. It is how life works. And we should learn from the trees when we are not sure what to do with our next steps.
As I sit here today on October 31, 2024, the pain for the loss of my friend and the change of path for the other does sting. It hurts and I am upset with knowing that neither of these people will be as close as they used to be. But this pain and feeling of loss will eventually ease and the knowledge that they are happier will bring a sense of comfort. (Luckily, one of them is still a phone call away and state lines don’t mean much to me lol). And as I sit here allowing my feelings to have their moment before moving along, I simply look at the trees. I watch their leaves slowly descend down to the earth and admire their acceptance of change. I am not a tree, but there is something to learn from them, and I will try to look for their lessons and adjust my life accordingly. They have been around longer than I have been on this planet, they seem to know a thing or two.
Happy Halloween everyone. Thank you for reading. Be safe tonight and I will see you out there.
- Nat