Father Time
October 16, 2024
Howdy Everyone,
It has been a minute. A lot of craziness has been going on since the last time I wrote, and I am sorry for the radio silence. However, it is the most wonderful time of the year (Halloween) and since this time is basically my version of Christmas, I will do my very best to put out two writings this month as a *treat* from me. I hope everyone is having a delightfully spooky October so far and is embracing all of the pumpkin spiced deliciousness that the world has to offer.
The last time we had spoken it was mid-August and the days were hotter, longer and full of sunshine. Well, not so much anymore (which I am not complaining about). Much like the weather change, a lot has occurred since the last time something was posted from me, so let’s recap.
Late August
- There was a slow decline in our occupancy, and by September 1, we were not busy much at all. Which was a lovely change of pace since summer was the definition of insanity.
September
- I began college classes. I am currently in school for Marketing and am hoping to go further and receive my event planning certification.
- Attended a Punk Rock Farmer’s Market, which was so delightful and met many lovely people who blew me away with their art.
- Have fallen deeper into the hole of baking from scratch so a lot of my camera roll is now filled with breads, pastries, etc.
- Traveled to the Mothman Festival in West Virginia. *Side note: Fell in love with Winchester, Kentucky. If anyone knows anything about this town, please let me know asap*
- Went ghost hunting at the Trans Allegheny Lunatic Asylum
- Dealt with a HURRICANE. In a LAND LOCKED STATE 😐
October
- Went ziplining about 2,000ft above the ground of the Smoky Mountains
- Attended my first JDM car show in Pigeon Forge
- Changed my hair
As I currently sit in the middle of October, with only 7 weeks left of this job, I am left to wonder where my next great adventure will take me. Tennessee has been nothing but surprise after surprise and I have a gnawing feeling that it has a few more tricks up its sleeve before my time here comes to an end. As of right now on October 16, I am not planning on staying here for the next year. Where am I planning to go? Wherever the wind takes me.
Okay, now that we are all caught up. Let’s chit chat. It is no shocker that October is my favorite month, it makes my little spooky heart happy, I love all the horror filled adventures, the darkness, the moodiness, just everything that makes Halloween, Halloween. But October does hold a sense of sorrow to me. Each year I find myself going through the months, waiting and waiting for the season where I feel the most myself, and then once it is here, it is gone in the same amount of time that each month before it goes by.
October makes me truly face myself and the progression of time that plagues us all. This October is no different, time is moving forward, always pushing onwards, and is one of the only truly constant things in this world. The human affliction is simply time. There is always the constant “I don’t have enough time” whether we say this in passing as our days become filled with activities, or it is the end of our lives where we look back on our accomplishments. We will never be able to stop time, but we do have the power to accept it. Most people push through their lives in a never-ending war with Father Time, but what we usually don’t realize is that time is a construct that us humans created. Of course, the aging process is a natural phenomenon, but the actual forging of time and putting a number with the natural process is a construct us lovely humans felt the need to put into effect. Since the day the humans decided it would be fun to create the binding fabrication of time, we have put ourselves in a perpetual race against the clock. Always pushing faster to gain the sense that we are experiencing enough before our time on this mortal plane is over. The institution of time has been nothing but a thief of joy and mindfulness. We are always in a state of preparation, scrambling, moving, that often we forget to sit with ourselves and look around. This is how we gain control back.
We are told that we must do this, this and that before the age of 30, 40, 60, whatever, but what if we no longer abide by that rule? What if we finally decide that just because society tells us that we must do this, we don’t? What does that make us? In my opinion it makes me the creator of my own life, the judge and the jury of my own timeline. And I believe a big part of my generation is similar in this topic. We have been told you must graduate high school, go to college, fall in love, marry them, start a career, have children, buy a house, etc. and I am sure it is no surprise that my life has obviously not followed this linear timeline. Life is messy, humans are messy, time is messy. I am proud of the ones that have followed this age-old tradition and are happy and content in their lives. And I am proud of the ones that are like me that have not. I graduated high school, went into college, was dating a person, was in the workforce, was doing everything I thought was correct, and to some it was. But not to me. Even at the tender age at 23, I can look back at that time only a year and a half or two ago and realize that I was not happy. I was not present. I was constantly looking forward and planning my next steps. And that was not fulfilling to me in the slightest, hence why when I look back at that time, I feel sad for past me. If only she knew what was ahead of her and how much sooner it could’ve came if she only snapped a little bit quicker.
As I am now, I am not saying that I am the most perfect and put together person, I don’t know what I am doing half the time, but I am happier than I have been in a long time and that counts for something. I am mindful of where I am and who I am with and what I am doing. I am deliberate in my decisions. I am not doing things just because I feel like it is time for me to do them, I am choosing to do things that I have a desire to do. This has made me feel fulfilled in my life. This change of course is characterized by accepting the course of time, instead of fighting in some kind of lose-lose war. I am simply following along with the natural progression of life instead of putting constraints on myself and this is how I have made peace with time.
I am definitely not telling every person reading this to abandon your lives, but I am encouraging you to be present. Fight against the normalcy, just because it worked for someone else does not mean that it will work for you. Remove the things that do not bring you joy in your life, if you can, and simply exist occasionally. The human existence is a fleeting thing, why should we battle with a natural phenomenon just to utter the words “I didn’t have enough time” in the end? Just look around, show appreciation, and be mindful of where you are and what you are doing.
I’ll see you out there.
- Nat